King's Mistake
by socialphobia
Summary: Tragic love story featuring Alistair and the Grey Warden. Takes place a couple of days after the Blight. Alistair brings the Warden back from death, without considering the consequenses.
1. Prologue

_(**MIGHT BE SOME SPOILER ALERTS**!)_

_Hello! This will be my very first Dragon Age fan fiction. It takes place after the blight and the warden (in this case named Faye) has sacrified herself to save Ferelden. To read this it probably requiers you to have some kind of knowledge about Dragon Age because I am refering to it quite alot, although some things might be off. For instance; I am very much aware that Dragon Age dosen't really have a "heaven or hell". They have the fade and the Golden City (but that was destroyed and jada jada jada). But for this novel to work there need to be a heaven (and a hell for that matter), so in this novel there is a heaven and a hell._

_And I just wanted to say that you keep in mind that English is not my first language, Swedish is, and i haven't written a lot in English. So English grammar and spelling might be wrong somewhere. But just have patient with me. I am a fast learner and everytime I write in English I think I become better at it. And I would love you to comment on my mistakes and so, but please don't be too harsh, I cry easily (just kidding hehe)._

_But yeah, thats about it! I hope you like it, if not... To bad, because I had such a fun time writing it! :D_

**Prologue**

His fingers were digging through the last of the dirt that piled on top of the coffin. He had been digging for almost an hour, first with a shovel and then with his hands. He was afraid that the sharp edge of the shovel would in some way injure the casket in which his beloved laid. She had been laying there for almost a week and even though he would never admit it, Alistair was quite afraid of the state her body could be in.

Morrigan was standing just a few inches from the grave that Alistair had dug up. She had barley moved since he started and she followed the young king's moves closely. Even though she left the party, promising never to return, she could not say no to the red-eyed Alistair, who had fought his way to find her, putting his own coronation on hold. He had plead, and she had bowed. She had her arms crossed over her chest, and the black hair was up in her ordinary tidy hairdo. She had never done this before, brining someone back. Even though she had seen her mother do it a few times and she knew exactly how it was suppose to be performed, she was scared that something could gone wrong. But she did not show this, of course. To Alistair she was as calm as ever.

The graveyard was empty and dark. Nothing was heard except the whispering sound of trees moving in the wind. Alistair had gather the rest of the old party. All of them was there; Leliana, Wynne, Sten, Oghren, even Faye's trustful mabari was there. Everyone but Zevran, who had left the party a long time ago. Morrigan was the only one who knew what the real purpose of the reunion, Alistair had told everyone else that he needed help to calm the situations around Ferelden. No one had truly believed him, but after seeing how destroyed he had been after the blight, no one had the heart to turn him down.

All of a sudden Alistair's fingers hit something hard. He stopped his movements and started very gently to brush away the dust that was left. He could feel the shape of a rectangular metallic sign, and while his fingers slowly moved over the letters written on it, he could begin to distinguish what it said:

_"In here lies Faye Cousland – the Hero of Ferelden"_

Alistair's heart skipped a beat. He stood still, reading the small text over and over again, until he looked up at Morrigan. Their eyes met for a brief second, before Morrigan turned her head away.

**"Get her up."** she said, harshly, and started walking a few steps away from the grave so there would be room for Alistair to do his work.

Alistair swallowed his nerves and his last little bit of doubt. There was no turning back now. He moved so that he could open the lid of the casket. Inside it looked like time had stopped. She looked just as he remembered, just a bit pale. She was wearing the dress of a noble woman, even though Alistair knew she rather would have been buried in her armour. The brown hair laid softly on her shoulders and the dark, long eyelashes rested smoothly on her freckly cheeks. The hands was neatly folded on her stomach and she laid on a bed of white silk. Alistair felt like crying, a week of longing was finally to an end.

He carefully wrapped his arms around her body, pulling the silk she was laying on around her as if he was afraid she would get cold when they got up over ground. At first this reminded him of all those times he carried her around before. There was for instance those endless times where they would be playing around; Chasing each other while travelling from city to city, and every time he caught her he would lift her up in his arms and tickle her until she begged for mercy. Morrigan hated when they did that, as did probably the rest of the party.

Then he realised how limp and cold she felt, pressed against his body and he remembered how she had sacrificed herself to kill the Archdemon. He closed the casket, using his foot and climbed on top of it, so that he could carefully push Faye's body over the ground. Then he grabbed the edge on the other side and smoothly pulled himself up.

Morrigan had been coming back, and she sat on her knees beside Faye. Alistair turned around and moved around the grave, to close up next to her.

This is not good, Alistair. she said and looked up at him. She has been dead for a long time now. There are consequences of bringing someone back, you do know that?

**"I don´t care."** said Alistair, sounding more secure than he actually felt. **"I want her back, I need her back."**

He didn't care if it sounded selfish. It was the truth. To become a king, he needed her by his side. To live a normal life, he needed her by his side. Those days after her death and after her funeral had been the worst in his life. Every second felt like a lifetime, every move he made felt wrong. He needed her, and she needed him where ever she was. He knew that for sure.

Do you understand that even if we are able to bring her back, it probably won't the same Faye?

Morrigan lifted one of her eyebrows as she looked straight into Alistair's face. Why that stupid Cousland girl ever would have rejected the ritual she was offered on the night before the battle will Morrigan never know. She was offered a way out, but she did not take it. If that isn't stupidity, what is? Even if Morrigan wanted to hate Faye she couldn't. Faye had been a good friend and Morrigan had always known that Faye had her back. When she promised to leave and never return that night before the end of the blight, Morrigan had actually felt something. She regretted that she had let someone so close into her life. She regretted that she had loved Faye as a friend and that she now would have to forget her. But this, bringing her back, it couldn't be right. But a promise was always a promise, and she had promised Alistair to at least try.

But chances are that it's the same Faye, and I'm willing to take that chance. Alistair said as his eyes were moving across Faye's pale, lifeless face. Please Morrigan, I need her back.

Morrigan sighed and turned her head to Faye. There was no talking him out of this one. She nodded and slowly pulled down the cloth of silk from Faye's body. Alistair stood still, watching the fabric slip off Faye's slim body. Then Morrigan slowly started to mumble, in a foreign language Alistair never heard before. She moved her hands over Faye's chest, around the area of her heart. Even if he wanted he could not bring himself to look away. Morrigan's voice became louder and all of a sudden she reached for a small knife that she was hiding in one of the folds in her skirt. She put the knife against her wrist and slit them. Blood magic. Alistair had probably not expected anything else, but he was still a bit scared when it came to forbidden magic. _  
><em>  
>Morrigan's voice became even louder, she almost shouted and the blood pored down into the open air, but did not hit Faye's body. And then, all of a sudden, Faye's body started twitching. Her head moved from side to side and her hands grasped the silk cloth underneath her. Alistair held is breath and wanted to interfere, but he couldn't move. It looked like Faye was in pain. But then, just as sudden as she had start moving, Faye stopped. She lied still, whit her hands on the side of her body, her head slightly turned to the right. And everything was quiet. Morrigan sat still, with her eyes closed. The air seemed to have stopped moving because the trees did not make a sound any more. There was nothing to be heard, Alistair didn't even hear his own breaths or the heavy beating of his heart.<p>

But then a loud, heart-rending cry broke the silence. Faye's head had been moved to the centre and her eyes had flown up. She pushed her upper body up, using her underarms, as she gasped for air, staring into the dark sky above them. She looked terrified.

Morrigan collapsed on her side, breathing heavily and with her uninjured hand around the deep scar that had formed on her right wrist she was stopping the blood that poured out. Faye's head fell to her side again and she closed her eyes. At first Alistair was scared that the whole thing was for nothing, and that she did not survive after all. But then he realised that she had fainted. He fell to his knees next to them and slowly touched her cold cheek with his fingertips. His eyes went blank and a small smile of ease spread across his lips.

Well, there you have her. said Morrigan when she recovered from most of the exhaustion.

Alistair pulled his hand away from Faye, and turned his head in Morrigan's direction. He looked down to her wrist and came quickly to his senses.

Are you okay? he said and tore a long bit of cloth from his shirt, which he then wrapped around Morrigan's wrist. Morrigan would have objected but she was too tired to resist.

I´ll be fine. she said instead and looked down at Faye's, now breathing, body. You need to get her back to camp. As fast as possible.

The camp was not far from the graveyard. The others was sleeping, except for Sten who kept watch. He had thought that Alistair and Morrigan wanted to pay their respects to Faye when they where that close to the grave, so he didn't pay much attention to it.

**"Are you going to get back on your own?"** said Alistair as he hurried to once again pull the silk cloth around Faye's body before he lifted her up in her arms and stood up.

**"Just for once, Alistair, listen to me. You need to get her back to the camp as fast as possible. Give her water and lay her close to the fire. I'll be fine, just go."**

Alistair nodded and turned around. He knew Morrigan could take care of herself. As he walked fast over the silent graveyard he instinctively pulled Faye's sleeping body against his chest. He tried to keep his eyes in front of him, even though the only thing he wanted to do was to look into her face for hours, kissing her lips and holding her close. He moved fast through the forest that separated the graveyard from the rest of the world. Faye had started shivering and mumbling as if she was in some kind of fever dream. Alistair started to become worried again, what if she wasn't the same? He bit the inside of his lower lip and increased his steps.

Soon enough they reached the camp. Sten sat next to the fire, in the middle of all the tents. He poked at the embers with a stick, and it wasn't before Alistair almost stood next to him that he realised that he was carrying someone. Sten stood up and stared with his dark eyes on his blond companion.

**"What have you done?"** Sten asked.

Alistair did not listen. He laid Faye next to the fire, on a small bedding which Wynne used to sit on when it was her turn to keep watch during the night. It was the softest. He grabbed the silk and pulled it a bit looser around her. She was still shivering, but she had stop her mumbling. Alistair stood on his knees besides her and slowly touched her cheek with his hand. She looked so fragile, not at all as she used to out on the battlefield. She was the one the darkspawns feared, not him.

**"Vashedan, what have you done?**" Sten repeated, moving closer to him so that he could see if it really was Faye that laid on the ground in front of him.

Yet again Alistair didn't answer, he barley could hear Sten. He was to occupied making sure that Faye was okay, or as okay as she could be. He reached for the sack of water Sten had next to his seat and put his hand on Faye's cheek, and then slowly tried to lift her head up so that he could place the sack to her lips and very slowly pour water in her mouth. As a result, Faye started coughing and opened her eyes. For the first time in what felt like a lifetime, Alistair and Faye's eyes met.

Sten became silent as he closely followed the event. And even though he had missed the Grey Warden and often wondered why she had sacrificed herself, he could not shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.


	2. Chapter 1 Legacy of a Hero

**Chapter 1. Legacy of a Hero**

**"I swear on the maker, child, if you don't wake up right now..."**

Faye woke up, just before Aldous gently slapped her in the back of her head with the history book he was reading from. She was sitting in the library in the Cousland estate. She was ten, and spending the last days of summer in a dusky room that smelled like old books while listening to boring Aldous was too much to ask of her. Especially when she rather wanted to be outside; climbing trees and running wild.

**"I am listening, Aldous." **she muttered and leaned her head in the palms of her hands. **"Aren't we done yet? I want go outside, it's really nice weather today!"**

Aldous shook his head and burst out in a little laugh. He had been working for the Cousland's long before Faye was born. He had taught her older brother and even her father in their family history and he wasn't surprised that Faye would share their disinterests in that subject, he was just baffled to why they still wanted him to work for them when no one was listening.

**"What would you say... If I'll told you a little about the Dalish instead?"** asked Aldous in a mysterious voice and lifted his bushy eyebrows. He knew how much Faye loved the Dalish, so to arouse her interest in history by talking about them for a change would certainly be appreciated.

Faye lifted her head from her hands and smiled real big. She nodded so heavily that the dark brown braids bounced up and down on her shoulders. Aldous replied her smile and sat down on a chair in front of Faye's bench. Then he started talking in a deep, shadowy tone to make it even more interesting for the little girl who looked at him with her big, blue eyes.

Half an hour later Faye stepped out from the library. Her head was filled with thoughts about pointy ears, blood writing and dangerous rouges that sneaks in the forest with their enchanted bows and arrows. Faye knew that there was about twenty minutes before supper but she really needed to go to the forest before. The only problem was that to get to the forest she needed to go out from the estate, and that was more or less impossible without being noticed by any of the guards, who surely was going to escort her to her mother instead. If not... Maybe the hole in the wall, behind the kitchen, still was there? It was a long shot, because it had been there for quite a while now. But it was worth a try.

She started to run to the building in which the kitchen was. Her long dress felt uncomfortable but she did not put to much thought into this. She turned around the corner of the kitchen and stopped when she saw the hole. It was still there! She smiled big and hurried of to it. The hole wasn't big but there was room enough for her to squeeze her young body through. Getting the dress intact through however, was a whole other matter. It got a bit dirty from the edges of the hole and a narrow steel beam sticking out from the cement got stuck in the lace of her dress, and while she fought the rest of her lower body out from the hole a large rip was torn in her light blue skirt.

Faye stood up, now outside the estate, and looked down at her dress. Then she looked up at the forest that stood in front of her and she realised that she did not care about the stupid gown. Her now loose and dishevelled braids started bouncing up and down on her shoulders as she ran towards the forest. She ran for quite a long time, and didn't stop until she had gotten so far that she did not hear the sound of the estate any more. She closed her eyes and let her body slowly fall to the ground.

She laid there on her back, entirely still, just breathing. She smelled the leaves and let the forest become a part of her. She felt completely at ease. She wasn't made to be a noble, and ever since she was seven she had these theories about her really being a Dalish, that had been adopted by her parents and they had shaped her into a human, harvesting her on her Dalish roots... Even though she was starting to realise that that probably wasn't realistic.

She opened her eyes and watch the treetops move in the wind. It was here that she felt the most safe. Outside, often in the forest and completely alone. In here she could breath, relax and just be. She sat up, the back of her dress had gotten even dirtier from the ground, and she started pulling out the ribbons holding her braids before she pulled her fingers through her hair and threw the ribbons on the ground. Then she stood up and started moving towards the big tree in front of her and started climbing. Last time she had gotten to the eight branch, this time she was determined to get to the tenth branch, at least.


	3. Chapter 2 Back to Camp

**Chapter 2. Back to Camp**

"**Faye? Can you hear me?"** Alistair asked with the same worried tone she while he looked into her open eyes. She was there right in front of him, but judging form the expression in her eyes she could be miles away.

Faye stared confused and scared into Alistair's face and she soon started to remember it. The blonde hair, the tan skin, the wrinkled forehead who revealed his worries... Everything was starting to come back to her. But she couldn't understand why she was pulled out from the safety and content she had felt since she died. She wasn't suppose to be here, not any more. Everything felt cold and shallow and every little bit of her body was in pain. She wanted to go back.

"**Where am I?"** Faye's voice was weak and hoarse, she was starting to panic. **"No, no, no, I don't want to be here!"**

She looked around, breathing heavily and tried to get away from Alistair's grip around her waist. The air was so cold it felt like swallowing ice when she drew her breaths. Her hands ended up around Alistair's wrist, piercing his skin with her nails. Alistair tried to calm her down, without any bigger result. He grabbed her hands and held them still while he kept his eye contact with her, talking softly and calmly.

"**It's okay, it's okay. Just calm down!"** he said over and over again. **"Please, just calm down. Everything's okay now. Your with me... It's okay now."**

Sten stood at the same place he was standing on before, looking at them. For once he had no idea what to say or think. Was this right? Was life worth feeling this way? He wanted to kill Alistair for brining back some one who finally had been put to rest, waking them up from something that were supposed to be impossible to awake from. Ripping them from the Golden City, the Fade, Heaven, whatever you want to call it. But then he realised that Alistair had justified this in his head, what he was doing was saving her from, what he thought was, a never ending dream of pain and loneliness. Because Alistair couldn't bare the thought of a life without her, and therefore he could not imagine that she didn't feel the same.

The rest of the camp had begun waking up from Faye's shouting and screaming. Even though Wynne was the oldest, she was the first one out of her tent. Alistair had begun to assume that she had trouble sleeping, and therefore she sat up most of the nights, reading her old books. Wynne stopped in her tent opening and squinted her blue eyes while she tried to distinguish what was going on over at the fire. But all she could see was Alistair wrestling someone's hands down to the ground and a stone cold Sten watching. She quickly moved across the camp to them. First she thought it was Morrigan, Wynne knew there would be trouble when that girl returned. But then she realised that it wasn't Morrigan, it wasn't anyone she had seen this morning, it wasn't anyone she could remember as dangerous. It was Faye. Faye who had died over a week ago, which coffin she had seen being buried not long ago.

Alistair looked up. Faye had finally calmed down. He prompted that she should drink more water, and she drank as if she never seen water in her whole life. The water seemed to make everything a little bit better. Wynne had laid her hand over her mouth, killing a small gasp. She looked in Alistair's eyes, showing him how wrong she thought this was. But she didn't say anything, mostly because Alistair's own eyes begged her not to. She walked over, pushed him to the side and crouched next to Faye who had closed her eyes again. She was about to faint once more.

"**Fetch me my bag."** said Wynne without leaving Faye her attention. Alistair didn't need more command, he stood up and hurried of to Wynne's tent. A few seconds later he came back, carrying her small leather bag in his hand and handed it over to her.

Wynne took the bag from his grip and pulled up different kinds of healing ointments. She was furious with Alistair. Just the thought of bringing some one back from the dead should have been something that revolted Alistair. Especially after his days as a templar.

Faye was shivering again. Wynne opened one of the bottles and poured the deep red content into her mouth, before she opened the buttons of her dress and smeared the sticky muddy fluid from another bottle onto her blotched red chest. Leliana got out from her tent, with a large grey sleeping gown on. She looked very tired, and she rubbed her left eye with her hand in a attempt to wake up.

"**What's going on?"** she asked right before she yawned.

"**Go back to bed, Leliana!"** Wynne shouted. She had more or less turned into the mother of the party, telling everyone what they should do and when they should do it. Leliana shook her head, weaved her hand in the air and mutter something about _"stupid fools who spend the night screaming"_ in her thick Orleasian accent.

Alistair looked at Leliana, then down at Wynne and tried to ask her what he should do. Alistair got the answer that he had "_done quite enough already"_ and remained silent after that. He watched as Wynne's remedies slowly made Faye better. She fell asleep next to the fire and started to look peaceful again. Wynne rose slowly while she wiped the last of the ointment on a napkin she had in her bag. Alistair was more than convinced that she had everything in that bag. Ointments, napkins, horseshoes, feathers, maybe even a map of the moon. He looked into her face, searched for some kind of judgement she was about to put on him.

"**Carry her to your tent, Alistair, and let her sleep for as long as she needs." **Wynne said calmly without looking at him. **"And after that you come back here. Because we need to talk."**


	4. Chapter 3 No Dreams Without Sleep

**Chapter 3. No Dreams Without Sleep**

Faye couldn't believe how hard this was. She knew probably every fighting techniques there was to know, she could fire a ballista and knew how to lead an army. But this, this was the hardest thing she ever had faced. Placing one foot in front of another, then back, then swirl around, then repeat.

**"No, Faye! That's all wrong! You really need to start paying attention."**

Of course it was wrong, she had done it wrong all day but that stupid Orlasian dance teacher demanded her to do it over and over again. Who needed to know how to waltz anyway?

**"It's one, two, three, one two, three..." **the dance teacher said over and over again to the beat of the muffled music played from the small orchestra in the big dance hall. **"One, two, three, one two, three..."**

Faye's dance partner was a tall, dark man, called Jules, who could have been quite handsome if he didn't shown how irritated he became over the fourteen year old Faye's inability to learn the dance steps so clearly. The man had followed the dance teacher and talked in a very deep, dark tone the few times he actually said anything.

The dance teacher on the other hand was a tiny, skinny little fellow with grey hair that was laid in a flamboyant hairdo. He was wearing very fancy clothes in fancy colourers and moved in a way that reminded Faye about flamingos, but that might be because his shirt was bright pink.

"**One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three..."** Faye kept saying to herself quietly and moved across the ballroom. Her mother was standing over by the door, peeping in on her progress. She had always wanted Faye to become a little bit more womanly and every woman should know the art of waltz. **"One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three..."  
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Faye stumbled on her feet just as she started to think she was doing better and accidental stepped on Jules foot, witch made him cry out a small, surprisingly bright shriek.

**"You stupid girl!"** he said in his Orlasian accent while lifting his foot of the ground so he could inspect it closer. **"We have been over this a hundred times, you should know it like the back of your hand by now!"**

**"Now, now Jules. Don't get upset."** the dance teacher said and walked over to Jules to pat him on the shoulder. He laughed nervously, looking over at Faye's mother to see if she had been gotten offended by Jules comment, without even thinking that maybe Faye was the one the gotten offend. **"Young madame Faye is a slow learner, but we will get there in time." **

"**I really don't think this is something for me, mother."**Faye said and looked at her mother over by the door. Her mother was a beautiful woman, with a slender physic, long brown hair that was tied into a elegant knot on her head and a long swan-like neck.

**"Oh don't say that."** her mother answered and walked across the floor over to them. **"I couldn't dance when I was your age either. It just... Takes time to learn sometimes. Just remember to keep your head up and relax." **

Faye opened her mouth to protest, but was silenced with a swift hand movement with her mother. Faye had given her hell about this dance business, and Faye had been told that if she didn't go through it, her mother would just make her do something much worse. Like learn how to cook or sew. And nothing scared Faye more than sewing.

So when Jules reluctantly grabbed Faye by the waist again and the orchestra started playing, she bit her lower lip and started moving across the floor, while repeating _"one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three..."_ quietly for herself.


	5. Chapter 4 Guilt

**Chapter 4. Guilt**

"**I cant believe how incredibly reckless you are!" **Wynne stood next to the fire, staring like a mad woman in Alistair's guilty face. **"There are consequences for brining someone back, and I can't even understand why you would do such a thing. Are you completely out of your mind?"  
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Alistair had been sitting next to the fire, listening to Wynne for almost half an hour now. He never would have believed that she would've felt so strongly about this. Even though he would have done it even if he knew. Morrigan had come back from the graveyard when Alistair returned from his tent She threw a glance over at him, as if she wanted to check what the situation in the camp was, and then she looked at Wynne who wanted to talk to her. But Morrigan had only responded that she needed to rest, and that the old woman would have to wait. So now he was alone, without anyone to stand up for him. Not that he really was relying on Morrigan to protect him anyway.

"**I don't know what to say, Wynne."** he said when he finally was allowed to talk. **"I... I love her."**

Wynne drew a deep sigh and sat down on her bedding. She hid her face in her hands and shook her head indignantly. Alistair felt a new shoot of guilt growing from his stomach, working its way up to his chest. Wynne looked up, her eyes was was blank.

**"She is an abomination, Alistair." **she said in a trembling voice, while she drew a long breath. **"She isn't supposed to..."**

As soon as Wynne called Faye an abomination Alistair had had enough. He stood up and said in a determined tone:

**"She is **_**not**_** an abomination." **he stared straight into Wynne's eyes, all traces of guilt had vanished in a cloud of irritation and anger. **"She's Faye. That hasn't change just because she laid underground for a week."**

Wynne looked over at the Alistair's tent, as if she was scared of what was sleeping inside. She opened her mouth and turned her head in Alistair's direction again.

**"It isn't right, Alistair. You need to understand that."**she said. Her voice started to sound weary. She looked tired, Alistair had broken her. He knew he should go easy on her, but he could not back down now.

**"You need to understand that I love that woman! And that I had plans to spend the rest of my life with her and that I'm not going to give her up that easily!"** he said loudly and started walking to his tent. **"I don't need you to be a part of this, so if you want to leave, then leave. I've had enough of you."**

After he said that he pushed the cloth covering the tent opening and went inside. The tent was small, but there was room for two people sleeping on each side of the tent. Faye slept on her side, facing his side, and was covered in a few thick blankets. He could hear her quiet breaths and from the dull light of the lantern in the ceiling he could see her chest move up and down. Alistair sat down on his side of the tent and just looked at her. His heart was still beating from the argument outside, but it seemed to go away when he just sat still and looked at her. He passed his hand over his face and took a deep, calming breath. Maybe he just needed to sleep, maybe it would stop feeling wrong tomorrow.

He took of his armour and placed it next to his bedding and laid down. He stared up in the ceiling, while he placed his hand over his stomach and tried to stop thinking about what just had happened. He needed to get Faye back to Denerim so that he could tend to her better. But that was a couple of days journey and who knew what could happen over that time. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. _"Relax.." _he thought to himself. _"Just relax dammit..." _

**"... Alistair?"**

The low voice surprised him. His eyes went opened and he turned his head towards Faye. She was awake, looking straight at him. Her blue eyes had become more vivid and her face had gotten back its glow. Alistair didn't know what to say, he just stared into her eyes, without even moving.

**"... Can't you sleep next to me instead?"**

The question brought him out of his action disabled state and he nodded fast and hurried to crawl over to her side. He slid down under the blankets next to her and as he putted his arms around her he let out a shaky breath. He couldn't help himself from smiling big and even though Faye was to tired to talk, he was completely content.

She hid her face in his throat, as always when they slept together. And he buried his nose in her dark brown hair. She smelled just the same, perfection. They fell asleep, tightly embracing and Alistair slept better than in a very long time.


	6. Chapter 5 End of Words

**Chapter 5. End of Words**

Faye woke up around five the next morning from a persistent ray of sunlight which had found its way into the tent. Her body was burning as if she had a fever of some kind. She slowly lifted her head and looked into Alistair's face. He was still sleeping. He slept heavy, as usual, and a small drip of drool was rolling its way out of the side of his mouth. Faye couldn't help herself and broke out in a small giggle. She hurried to place her hand over her mouth, scared that she would wake him up. The giggle felt unusual, like if she had forgotten that there could be something nice in this world after all.  
>She slowly sat up and did her best not to disturbed him. Alistair had taken of his shirt during the night, probably because of the heath under all those blankets, and it laid next to his body. Faye reached for it and pulled it over her head. The greyish rough shirt was a lot bigger then her, and when she stood up it reached her knees.<p>

As she was about to move out through the tent opening she cast a last glance at Alistair, who had rolled over at his stomach, leaning his head on his arm and with the blanket covering his lower body. Faye smiled vaguely. She hated him for what he had done, and she wanted to run away and leave him with his stupid broken heart, but at the same time she knew that he was the only thing keeping her somewhat connected to heaven. She reached for one of the blankets and pulled it over her shoulders before she stepped out.

Everything was so light outside. The fresh air made her head hurt less and it felt nice against her naked legs. She pulled her arms around herself and started walking a few steps forward. The fire had burned out, and there was only a small column of smoke rising up from the burnt firewood. Everyone was sleeping and Faye could hear subtle breaths and snores from all of the tents around her.

She pulled the blanket closer to her body and started moving towards the fire. She hadn't her dress on. So underneath Alistair's shirt and the blanket she was just wearing her panties. And she didn't have her shoes on, so she walked barefoot. But this didn't bother her, the shirt was long and she was used to walk without shoes.

She stopped at the fireplace and looked at it. It all seemed so familiar even though it felt like it was years since she last was here. In some ways she missed it, or at least the thought of it. The constant threat of darkspawns, sore feet and Alistair's horrible stew. She smiled at the thought of it and then she looked up against the forest. There was this small trail leading through it, and even though she couldn't recall ever being inside that forest, she all of a sudden felt a strong desire to enter it. She had no idea the path led to the graveyard.

She started walking, first slow, then faster. She didn't run though, because even if she was anxious to see where the path led, she had a slight feeling of discomfort in the back of her stomach. And then she suddenly was there, at the beginning of the cemetery. She stopped. It wasn't very big, but it was serene and beautiful. She noticed the excavated grave in front of her and started to move towards it. She stopped and looked down inside the hole. In there was a casket with a small metallic sign in which her name was engraved.

Faye felt dizzy all of a sudden and had to sit down on the ground. She started breathing heavily, as if she was having a panic attack. She pulled her legs against her chest and wrapped her arms around them before she buried her head against her knees. Then she closed her eyes and started to rock back and forth.

It took a good ten minutes before she could calm herself down from the shock. She lifted her head and looked down the hole again. Her brown hair covered her shoulders and moved from time to time in the soft wind that blew over the cemetery. To her surprise she felt the same strong desire that made her go into the woods, when she looked at her coffin. And she started to understand that the fear she felt didn't come from the fact that she had been inside it, but that she now wasn't. She wanted to lay in it again, without any worries about breathing or living. She wanted to die.

She bit her lower lip and pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and hooked it behind her ears, before she very smoothly jumped down the hole. She opened the casket and slowly laid down on the white silk. She placed her hands neatly over her stomach and looked up into the blue sky over her. She closed her eyes and thought that if she just wanted it enough, she could go back. And when she really thought that she was about to make it, a voice broke her concentration:

**"**_**What are you doing**_**?" **Morrigan was standing on the edge of the grave, looking down at her. **"After all the trouble we went through to get you up from that hole, you just couldn't stay away, could you?"**

She looked angry, but then again, Morrigan always looked angry. Faye sat up and looked at her.

**"I just wanted to.. Check if it felt the same." **Faye said and played with the silk between her fingers.

"It wont. Now get up from there, I want to talk to you."

Faye stood up and grabbed the edge of the grave with her hands. She pulled herself up and brushed of the dirt on Alistair's shirt. It already needed to be washed anyway. Then she looked up at Morrigan. She had always thought that Morrigan was one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen. With her raven black hair, curvy body and mysterious personality, she was everything Faye always wanted to be.

**"... You don't look to bad, seems like the old lady worked her magic pretty good this time." **Morrigan said after she had inspected Faye entirely. Morrigan moved closer to Faye and touched her cheek with her long, slender fingers. She grabbed Faye by her jaw and turned her face from one side to the other. **"You are actually the first I've ever brought back... I've only seen mother do it a few times, but I must say that this went.. Very well."**

"Happy to be your guinea-pig"

Faye answered ironically and pulled away from her grip. **"Maybe we could go and bring Andraste herself back from the dead next."**

**"Don't be silly. Andraste was cremated." **Morrigan waved off. Faye didn't know if she should laugh or take her serious. **"Well, enough of that. As I sad, I wanted to.."**

Morrigan was rudely interrupted by a familiar bark which made its way through the forest. Faye looked at the direction of the sound and saw her very own mabari running towards them. Faye burst out in a big smile and sat down on her knees to greet the dog when it came up towards her. The dog jumped around, barking happily and licked her face over and over again.

**"He was with you?" **she asked Morrigan while she scratched the dog behind its ear. **"Oh, who's a good boy? You're a good boy!"**

Morrigan rolled her eyes, she hated the fact that everybody in camp (except for Sten) treated the dog like a little baby.

**"Yes. I was going to gather herbs to mend my wound, and your dog followed." **she said with her head held high. **"Now... I really need to talk to you." **

Faye stopped her motions and turned her head towards Morrigan instead. She waited for her to continued and looked now and then towards the dog who demanded her attention. She couldn't understand how a person could miss an animal as much as she had missed her dog.

**"As I understand... You are not really happy about this... Little arrangement?"**

**"Little arrangement?"** Faye laughed and stood up.** "Morrigan... This.. This was not a little arrangement. I have no idea what the two of you did but I... I can't stay here."**

Morrigan drew a deep breath and nodded. She turned her head towards the camp and remained silence for a while until she continued. **"I understand. But what's done is done. And that boy... Alistair. He cares for you, a great deal."**

**"If you were to say this to him, say how... Incredibly disappointed you are to be back... It would kill him." **Faye couldn't believe her ears. Was Morrigan actually caring for Alistair? Hell most have froze over. But then Morrigan seemed to have red her mind. **"Don't think for a second that I care for that imbecile. But I can't help thinking that this may have some kind of effect on Ferelden, and there for on me."**

Faye didn't really care for Ferelden or Morrigan (she was convinced that whatever happened to this world, Morrigan would find her way out of it), but the fact that this might kill Alistair hit home. For as much anger she felt towards him, she would always love him more. **"Am I suppose to lie to him then?"**

**"Yes. Lie. Start living your life by his side, become the Queen for all I care. Just don't make him go under. You can leave that to me." **Morrigan smiled, but only slightly and it disappeared as soon as it arrived.

Faye looked down towards the hole in the ground. It felt safe, but it had felt the same in Alistair's arms. And the fact that someone had loved her so much to bring her back was heartbreaking. Her dog breathed heavily next to her, and she turned her face towards him, before she looked over at the direction of the camp.  
><strong><br>"Don't tell him about this."** she said and lend her head towards the dogs neck. **"I don't want him to..."**

**"I understand."** Morrigan interrupted. **"Love is a foolish thing which is for the weak. But I... I understand how important it is for some. I will not say anything to Alistair, and I hope that this little... Talk, will... Make you want to stay here with us."**

"**I'll try."**

**"That's all I ask for."** Morrigan smiled before she turned around and walked back to camp. Faye sat still, together with the mabari, and watched her for a few seconds. Then she looked down into the hole for quite a long time, as if she said good bye to it, stood up and leaved.


	7. Chapter 6 In his Arms

_Just thought I would warn you guys. This chapter will have a lot of sex (*awkward silence*) So uhm... Yeah! Happy reading_

**Chapter 6. In his Arms  
><strong>

Faye made it back to camp soon after Morrigan had left. She moved swiftly towards Alistair's tent. She was happy that no one had waken up yet because she did not feel like talking to anyone at this moment. As she reached the tent, she told her mabari to stay put outside. The dog barked and sat down obediently. Alistair was still sleeping, but he now laid on his back. He was leaning his arm over his eyes, and his heavy breathing had turned into small snores.

She let the blanket fall to the ground and slowly climbed on top of him. This made him wake up a bit, even though he was still sleeping because he kept mumbling something like "We need to get the tape" and then something about a goat. Faye smiled. It wasn't hard to understand why he won her heart. He made her relax and laugh, something she needed so very much after the death of her parents. She slowly bent down and kissed him, very softly, on his upper lip.

**"Alistair?"** she whispered. **"Wakie, wakie..."  
><strong>  
>Alistair slowly opened his eyes and looked up into her face. Faye pulled back so that she could see his reaction. She was sitting straddled over his crotch, with her hands on his chest and her head slightly bent to the side. This obviously made Alistair feel somewhat uncomfortable, it always did when she woke him up like that. He knew he had been snoring, and probably talking about that stupid goat again.<p>

**"Oh, hi! You're up. How did you sleep?"** he said with a morning tired voice. He smiled at her, and placed his hand just above her hips. Oh, those hips, he had missed them like crazy. **"Do feel better today?"**

Faye didn't feel better. Yesterday she didn't know what was going on. Today everything felt to real. So she didn't answer him, she knew that he would understand if she lied. So instead she just bent down and kissed him. Alistair felt a sudden pain in his chest. Her lips against his seemed so familiar, like her death never happened. His fingers pressed against her hips and he lifted his head to kiss her again.

Faye felt rushed, as if her body needed him right now. It couldn't wait. She kissed him harder, with more passion and started to run her fingers over his muscles, strong upper body. During the short breaks where their lips didn't connect they breathed heavily on each others skin. Alistair's eyes was fixed on hers, not leaving them for a second except when they kissed. He knew that this probably wasn't a good idea, they should wait until Faye felt better, but he couldn't stop himself. He just wanted more.

Faye's fingers ended up at his crotch, and she started to unbutton his fly. Alistair let out a small moan and hurried to reach down to grab her by the wrist.

**"Maybe we should wait..."** he whispered against her lips. **"You aren't feeling well and..."**

Faye silent him with a small _"shhh"_before she kissed him again, and put her hand inside his pants. Alistair couldn't help himself and let out another moan, this time a little bit bigger than the first one but still very quiet. Her fingertips touched the warm skin of his penis, which already had was hard. As she bent down to kiss him again, she carefully picked it out. As Faye lifted her body Alistair pulled her panties down. Then he sat up and placed his arms around her, pulling her body towards his. He kissed her deeply and before he knew it, he was inside her.

After Faye's body had gotten used to his size she started to move up and down over him. Alistair pulled the shirt she was wearing over her head and threw it at the ground. He leaned forward and kissed her over her neck, and down to her breasts. His lips played with her light pink nipple, drawing a moan from her mouth. Her hand collided into his hair, which she started pulling as she moved faster. They felt completely isolated from everything else. In this moment the only thing that existed were them. Faye closed her eyes and leaned her head back as her body started clamp in ecstasy. Alistair reached for her cheek and pulled her head against his, kissing her lips as he came.

Faye collapsed over him, letting his body keeping hers up. She breathed heavily and her body was trembling. She kissed him against the soft skin next to his ear. _"This was as close to heaven as she would get without dying."_she thought before she closed her eyes and smiled.


	8. Chapter 7 First Time

**Chapter 7. First Time**

"**I love you"**

Faye sat up straight and looked down at Alistair underneath her. The three words had taken her by surprise. She had heard them to many times before, from her parents, lovers, friends... But somehow it felt more real than anything when it came from him. It scared her. She looked away, and lifted herself from him while she grabbed her clothes that was scattered all over the tent. **"Look.. I don't want anything serious, okay?**" she said. **"I thought I made that perfectly clear.. I just want to have some fun."**

Alistair lifted his naked upper body and leaned back against his elbows. He wrinkled his forehead, as always when he was worried and he hurried to shake his head and reply: **"No, no, I know. I didn't mean it like that... I just thought that it was fitting to say something like that after you did that to my..."**

**"You just don't go around saying stuff like that, Alistair." **Faye stopped him before he could finish his sentence. Alistair nodded and sat up. He pulled the blanket over his naked crotch and ran his fingers over his face. **"I really didn't... Or I... I kinda do. I think I really... I really like you."**

Faye pulled her pants on, and started to draw the oversized green shirt over her head. **"Well I don't love you. I just wanted to have some fun." **she said, and hated herself the second after. She could immediately see that Alistair was hurt, even though he tried so hard not to show it. **"I really can't think about a relationship right now... To much going on, this was for..." **

**"I get it. Just some fun. Well... We had fun tonight. Just because I feel something doesn't mean it have to stop right? Its... Just that..." **Alistair shifted his body a bit, as if he was feeling incredibly uncomfortable all of a sudden. **"I mean... I just... I fucking adore you. Everything about you is... It's so amazing. I understand if you don't feel the same way about me but I can't... I don't think I can live without you."**

_"Good work, Faye. Always needing to lay with the virgins, making them addicted to you."_ Faye thought while she pulled her belt tightly around her waist, It wasn't the first time this had happened. Faye had been with a lot of men, not to say that she was in some kind of way promiscuous, she just knew how to have fun and she always chose her partners carefully. A lot of these men had been virgins, especially when she was younger. She lost her own virginity when she was around fourteen to the cooks boy. It happened behind the kitchen and Faye had hated it from the very start but it hadn't discouraged her from doing it again. And because she lost her virginity at such an early age, her next partners had often been virgins themselves and had fallen in love with her after. But somehow it felt as if Alistair really meant it, not just because he was a virgin, but because he truly was in love. She sat down in front of him and placed her hands on each side of his face. **"This was just for fun... And I would love it to stay that way."**she forced a smile on her lips to comfort him and slowly touched his skin with her thumbs, trying not to count how many time she had said fun.

**"You're making me hate that word... Fun." **Alistair said with distaste. **"Fun, fun, fun." **Faye couldn't help to smile, he was so cute. She pulled him closer and kissed his lips fast before she looked into his eyes. **"You and me isn't going to happen. But you're going to meet someone after the Blight, and you're going to fall madly in love with her and have hundreds of kids and be the most happiest man on earth."**

Alistair sat still for a second, before he started to smile. **"You say that now, but we are going to be travelling together for almost a year. I don't think you can resist my charm for that long.**" he said and raised his eyebrows whit a confident look in his eyes. Faye burst out into a little laugh and patted him semi-hard on his cheeks before she stood up and walked over to the tent opening.**"Just you wait, Faye Cousland. You will be the one carrying my hundreds of kids. You will see."**

Faye looked back at him, smiled big and shook her head. **"Never going to happen, Allie."** she said before she stepped out. She let the cloth fall behind her and smiled all the way back to her own tent.


	9. Chapter 8 Towards Denerim

**Chapter 8. Towards Denerim**

They had been travelling for almost half a day now. Alistair had arranged for horses, so they did not have to travel by foot any more. Faye kept in the back, behind Sten and next to Leliana. All of them had a horse, even Oghren, who made an impressive performance considering how much ale he ha been drinking last night. Faye could hear him, talking loudly and swearing about the pain in his legs, even though he was in the front next to Alistair and Wynne. The only one missing was Morrigan, who had refused to follow. She wanted no more part in this, and she didn't trust horses.

**"Lovely weather today..."** Leliana said and looked up against the sky. She rode a white mare, with light brown mane. It suited her perfectly, both of them was just as feminine. **"It was such a long time since I rode a horse... I had forgotten how nice it is." **

Faye rode a dark brown horse, with even darker spots. Alistair had said something about her having the same wild eyes as Faye, even though Faye soon found out that Alistair had given her the calmest of the horses in case something would happen. **"Really?"** she said and glanced over at Leliana. Faye hadn't really been paying attention to what she had been saying. Leliana had been talking non stop since they left camp, and Faye couldn't bare herself to concentrate any more.** "Maker, we're moving slowly..."**She whispered as she tried to look over Sten's side to see how things where going ahead.

**"Yes, I didn't travel that much before I left Orlais, and even if I did I could never afford a horse. I like this one though... She's soooo pretty."** Leliana smiled and patted her horse on its neck. **"Your horse is nice to, I really must remember to thank Alistair for this afterwards. Speaking of Alistair..."** Leliana stopped when she realised that Faye didn't listen.** "Faye? Are you listening?"**

Faye wasn't. She was to busy looking ahead still trying to get what it was that kept them going slow.  
><strong>"What?"<strong> she said and looked at Leliana. **"Oh, I'm sorry. You were saying something. About Alistair?" **Leliana nodded and smiled. The thing Faye loved about her was that nothing could get her down or at least she didn't show it.

**"How are you two getting along? I heard you this morning. Sounded like you felt just fine..."** Leliana smiled bigger, looking at her with a teasingly expression. **"Sounded like Alistair was feeling just fine as well..."**she giggled and looked forward.

**"Leliana!" **Faye said and laughed, hoping Sten had not heard anything. She wasn't sure that he would get it anyway. **"That isn't your business. And you really need to stop lurking around his tent."** Faye moistened her lips against each other before she continued. **"But we're fine... I am... I'm happy that I am back. I love him for brining me back."**

**"Liar."** Leliana said. The smile on her lips was gone, and the ways he looked at Faye felt as if she saw into her soul. **"But I am glad that you are back. I have missed you."** Faye smiled at Leliana. She had missed her as well. Faye had never had a lot of girlfriends. She didn't try to befriend girls, at least not the girls at her estate. They were to girly and fragile. And beside, they never seemed to like Faye's rough ways anyway. So when she met Leliana she never thought that she would like her, but to her surprise, Leliana became one of her closest friends. **"This is going really slow, no? What about we ride ahead, looking for enemies and so... We are the rouges after all. Isn't that what we should do?"**

Faye smiled bigger, nodded and urged her horse to go faster. Following Leliana they moved past Sten, Wynne, Oghren and then finally Alistair. Faye slowed down for a few seconds. **"Me and Leliana is just going to check ahead to make sure the rode is clear."**she smiled at him, she knew Alistair never would allow it. But then again, she didn't need his approval.

**"No, wait.. You don't need to do that. I really would like you to ride in the back. In case you..."**Alistair said and shook his head. Faye smiled and hugged the straps with her fingers before she kicked the horse carefully with her heels and went of in gallop together with Leliana.

**"Faye!"** Alistair shouted after. **"I really would like you to stay in the back!" **

**"Psst, just let the girl go." **Oghren mumble. **"She deserve it. Almost as much as I deserve a drink after this sodding hell ride." **

Faye didn't hear the last of Alistair sentence, not that she cared. The wind in her hair and the sound of the horseshoes against the ground felt freeing. She was in full control, steering the horse through the woods next to the road, it felt like flying. Leliana was up ahead, riding her horse fast. She was a good rider considering that it was such a long time since she had ridden.

For a couple of seconds, Faye closed her eyes and thought about her life before death. She thought about the estate, the forest outside the walls, the cooks children and Aldous boring lessons. She thought about her mother and her father, she thought about her brother and his wife. And then she thought about all those times she had felt the need to leave them. She opened her eyes and squeezed the straps with her fingers. She raced her horse past Leliana and continued on.

And far away in the distance, Denerim´s high walls awaited their arrival.


	10. Chapter 9 Unwanted

**Chapter 9. Unwanted**

Denerim looked as she remembered. It was big and noisy as always. She remembered the smell just like yesterday and there was just a few signs of the blight. Things seemed as if it had gone back to normal quite fast after the death of the arch demon. Faye was brought to the castle immediately. Alistair and Wynne didn't want to cause a commotion if anyone happened to notice who she was.

When she slid her horse in the royal stable her legs was shaking. It had been a long ride but Faye couldn't remember that her body had reacted that way from riding before. As soon as she took a step away from the horse, Alistair stood by her side. "**Are you okay**?" he whispered in her ear, making sure that no one else heard. He knew how much Faye hated when people fuzzed over her. But even if Faye's legs throbbed she didn't want him to feel bad for her, so she forced a smile on her lips and nodded. "**I feel fine**." she said and looked away.

She waited for the rest of the party to get ready before she let Alistair led the way through the great entrance. Inside, many of Denerim´s nobles had gathered to welcome the king back from his journey but when the noticed the dead Hero of Ferelden, alive and kicking, they gasped and fell into silence. Faye felt everyone eyes upon her and she could hear people whisper as she moved past them. Alistair moved through the hall determined to get through it as fast as possibly. Oghren separated himself from them when they moved past the kitchen and Leliana stopped at the library. Only Wynne and Sten followed the whole way to the royal study. Faye stopped next to the door and tried to ignore the servants he glanced shocked at her. She felt like an animal at the zoo.

**"I need you to get the rooms ready for my guests."** Alistair said after he moved over to the table in the middle of the room and turned around to face the servants. **"And I want to talk to my advisor, as fast as possibly. And... Food! Maker yes. We need food, a lot of it... Thank you."  
><strong>  
>Faye couldn't help herself to smile. Even if he was a king, he still sounded like a teenager. Faye moved across the room, watching it. It looked just the same as it had the night before the blight when Arl Eamon had summoned her and Alistair in it. The servants exited the room, and Sten closed the door behind them.<p>

"**I would like to hear your plans**." Wynne said. She had settled down in a dark red armchair in on of the corners of the rooms. You could clearly see that she was tired, the amount of travelling which they had done the past days was too much for a woman of her age. **"What do you intend to do now? Swoon into the throne room and inform the nobles about how you brought the love of your life back with blood magic?" **Faye tried to stay out of it. She sat down on a similar armchair in the opposite corner and tried to become as invisible as she possible could. Which was more or less impossible considering that she was wearing a dark grey armour which made a squeaky noise at every small move. **"Or are you considering a lie? Saying that the maker and Andraste brought her back?"**

Alistair looked at Wynne. Faye could see in his posture that he was tired as well. It had been a long journey even for him and even if you didn't consider the amount of emotional stress he had endured in the past week, he was in serious need of a good night sleep. But Wynne felt no pity. She looked him straight into his eyes, waiting for his answer. **"I intend to... Be a king. A great king at that. With Faye at my side." **Alistair said after a while and glanced over at Faye. **"And... I know that everything else will solve itself."**

"**You must be one of the most naïve little boys I've seen in a while, Alistair.**" Wynne said harshly and rose from the chair. She walked over to the door. "**I'll be here for you, even though I think that... Faye shouldn't be.**" Faye could clearly hear that Wynne felt as if she was something... Inhuman. Something wrong that should be removed. "**But I will be here for you when you need me. I will always stand on your side, Alistair, even when you do wrong**." by that Wynne turned around and opened the door. "**I'll be in my room.**" she said as she exited and moved across the corridor.

Faye sat as frozen and stared after her, she could feel Alistair's eyes on her but he didn't say anything before the quiet clicking of Wynne's shoes was gone. "**... Don't mind her, Faye.**" he said as if he had red her mind. "**She is just tired from the journey. As should you be. We could check if your room is ready?**" Faye didn't want to answer, she was tired but she knew she couldn't sleep yet. She turned her head and looked at Alistair, then at Sten who was standing next to the door. Sten really knew the secret of invisibility. He was quiet as a church rat even if he was wearing one of the heavier armour and he didn't move, which in some way made him blend into the background.

"**... Alistair."** he said suddenly. **"You are now a king. And what Wynne said was right. You are still acting like a little boy. You need to grow up and start making decisions. What do you intend to do? The land is in tumult and it screams after a leader who can build it up again." **

**"Bloody hell, what is this?"** Alistair said and turned his head in the direction of Sten. **"We've just come back and I can't even get five minutes to just breath before I bring this land back on its feet?"**  
><strong>"There is no time to breath at this moment."<strong>

**"You're kidding right? Don't get all Qunari on me right now, Sten. I can't take it." **Alistair started to sound more and more irritated. "I need to sleep. And eat. And take a bath. I think I have to take the bath first.. I smell horrible. But I need to do all that before I can start acting like a king."

**"You can do that to night. First you need to be a leader."** directly after Sten finished his sentenced, Alistair's advisers rushed into the room. There was two of them. They were short men with noble clothing and noble hair. One of the had quite the stomach and the other was almost taller then Sten. **"I will show Faye to her room and make sure she is taken care of, and you will take care of your land." **

Alistair tried to focus on what Sten was saying,but the advisers was to busy informing him about incidents and issues that had appeared while he was gone and wouldn't give Alistair a second to talk to Sten. Faye rose from her chair and moved over to Sten who escorted her out of the study.


	11. Chapter 10 Below the Surface

**Chapter 10. Below the Surface**

Faye's room was big and luxurious, everything Faye couldn't stand. But she was thankful that she at least got to be alone for a few hours. The servant girls had filled the tub in her private bathroom with hot, steamy water and had helped Faye remove her armour before they left her. The armour had marked her skin with a pair of big blue bruises. It was as if her body had grown unaccustomed from the weight of the armour she used to be so familiar with. It should have scared her, thinking that her body was becoming something she couldn't recognise, but she couldn't bring herself to even care. She was too tired.

In her grey tunic Faye moved into the big bathroom. Apart from the rest of the castle, the bathroom was light and airy. It went in a light blue colour scheme and looked as something brought from an Orleasian, high-class, brothel. Except it looked cleaner. Faye shut the door tight behind her and started to undress. She unbuttoned the belt in her rough dark-brown pants and let them fall to the floor. She pulled the grey tunic over her head and moved naked towards the tub.

The water felt scorching against her toes when she dipped them in. She hooked a strand a hair behind her ear and forced her leg into the warm water. After a few seconds her legs had gotten used to the warmth and she lowered her whole body into the huge tub. The water seemed to soothe her. She leaned her head back so her hair got swallowed by the water and stretched her legs out in front of her. She looked up in the light blue ceiling over her, placed her hands on each side of herself and started thinking. It was funny how little she had talk to Alistair since he... Brought her back. It always seemed as if there was something in the way for them to spend any time alone together, except the morning in the tent. But they really didn't talk much that time. Faye closed her eyes, she was just going to lay in the water for a few minutes, then get clean and dressed and look him up.

She missed him, she missed having him beside her at all time, she missed resting her head on his chest after a long day and having his arms around her. She missed his stupid comments and jokes, she even missed how bad he could smell after a days journey. Faye smiled and closed her eyes, letting the water sweep her consciousness away.

Two hours later a serial of knocks on the door woke her up. "**Faye?**" the door opened and Alistair came in. He was dressed in a green tunic, embellished with a golden embroidery along the neck. He looked like a real noble. Faye sat up and looked confused around her. The water had turned almost ice cold and her fingertips was wrinkly as raisins. She turned her head to Alistair, who looked surprised that she still was in the water. "**I think I fell asleep.**" Faye said, her body was shivering from the cold water. Alistair moved over to the tub and reached over for a large, white towel which he held up against her. "**Maybe time to get up then.**" he said and smiled.

Faye nodded and stood up. The skin on her arms had goosebumps and her nipples was stiffened from the cold, Alistair couldn't help himself from letting his eyes move discretely over her body. Faye stepped out of the tub and grabbed the towel which she pulled around her body. Alistair looked away and scratched his neck with a embarrassed look on his face.** "... I've brought food with me. Its in the bedroom. I'll wait for you there."**he said before he moved out from the bathroom. Faye looked after him for a few seconds before she patted her body dry.

Alistair sat on the bed when Faye returned from the bathroom. She had found a silk robe which she had tied around her waist and her long brown hair was wet and tangled on one side of her head. Alistair looked up and Faye noticed a large tray, covered with different plates of food. Faye smiled, she was starving. She went over to the bed and sat down in front of the tray, opposite Alistair. "**Bless the maker, Alistair. This looks delicious!**" Faye smiled and started digging in on a plate containing fresh fruit.

Alistair smiled and watched her as she ate. **"I've never met a girl who could eat like you."** he laughed. Faye reached over and playfully punched his upper arm. **"I haven't eaten all day!"** Alistair smiled big and rubbed the place she had hit him. **"It's not the first time I've noticed it."** he said teasingly and lifted his hand to hands for cover when she punched him again. **"Shut up."**Faye laughed and continued eating.

Alistair leaned back against the pillows behind him and studied her. "**Sooo... Except being completely famished, how are you feeling?**" he asked and tried to guess her answer before she said it. Faye looked down on her plate, she knew how she was feeling. She was furious with him. **"I'm just fine."** she said instead and smiled at him, she didn't want to worry him, his shoulders was already heavy from the burden of bringing a land on its feet again. She didn't want him to have more to think about. **"I'm a bit shaken I guess... But I am sure I will feel better after a few nights sleep." **

Alistair knew she lied, he could see it in her eyes. But he didn't want to admit to it, not for himself. He didn't want to admit that what he had done was wrong and that Wynne was right. Faye was everything else but an abomination and he wouldn't regret brining her back. **"Great, I'm glad to hear that." **Alistair smiled and reached for one of the two cups of wine which stood on the tray. **"... I know we haven't talked so much since... And I'm really unhappy about that."** he took a sip of the wine and the smile went away on his lips. Instead that worrying wrinkle on his forehead appeared again and he looked straight into Faye's eyes. **"I mean... I brought you back so you could be with me... I should bee spending every waken moment with you."** Faye didn't knew what to answer, so instead she took a sip from her cup and reached for the plate with grilled chicken. **"It's okay, I understand."** she said after a while.

"**But it isn't. I should make time. You must be confused like crazy."** Alistair continued, still looking worried as if he was scared for her life. "I mean.. One day your there and the next you here and..." Faye stopped him with a small smile. She dried her hands on a napkin before she reached over and slowly brushed her hand over his forehead, and down to his cheek. "Stop worrying, Allie. I feel fine, good actually." Alistair nodded and smiled. He knew it wouldn't make a difference if he walked around and felt uneasy all the time. **"So... You're glad your back?"**he asked and really hoped she would say yes.

Faye wanted to scream no, she wanted to slap him and scream how much she wanted to go back. She hated that she was back, she hated it, she hated it, _she hated it_. But when she stared into those sad puppy eyes, she couldn't. Instead she just nodded. **"I'm really glad I'm back."** she lied with a smile and pulled her hand back before she took another sip of wine.


	12. Chapter 11 Running for the Hill

**Chapter 11. Running for the Hill**

The forest laid silent when Morrigan, Alistair, Faye and her mabari moved through it. The only thing they could hear was their feet against the large trail they followed and the heavy breaths from the dog, which insisted on running between Faye, who was in the lead, and Morrigan, who was in the back. Alistair tried to keep up with Faye's brisk past to stay side by side with her, but Morrigan had stopped trying after a while and drift behind, walking for herself. **"I know we've only known each other for a couple of days, but I really think you should talk about what happened before..." **Alistair said as he walked.

"Why would I want to talk to you about it?"

said Faye calmly, he had asked her half an hour earlier already, her answer had then been more polite. Faye moved as fast as she could without running, she had started doing that the second after he started asking when they left Ostagar. But of course Alistair seemed to be blind for the signs, and he wouldn't give up. **"As you said. We just met."**

Faye wanted to run away from him. The picture of her parents, dying in the pantry still haunted her, it was nothing she wanted to talk about with a blonde, innocent temple boy.**"Yeah but... Really, it isn't healthy to keep these things inside. You should just get it out of your system. Just.. Talk about it!"** Alistair continued on, moving next to her even though his armour was heavier then hers and he wasn't as fast. Faye started getting annoyed, when would the guy give it up? "**Maybe we should talk about Duncan then? So you can get it out of your own bloody system?**" Faye said and stopped. She turned around and stared into Alistair's stupid puppy eyes. She saw that brining up Duncan made him troubled, but he still looked surprisingly unmoved considering how sad he had been this morning when the left Flemeth's hut.

"**We can talk about him later." **Alistair answered. **"I really just want to know if you're okay. If we're going to travel together I need to know that you're not going to break down. I just think you should talk about what happened."** Faye shook her head and started walking again, in the same brisk paste. Alistair hurried after. **"I am okay, I won't break down and you don't need to worry.**" Faye said while she walked, the mabari came running and joined her by her side. **"I just think that... I mean I understand that you miss your parents..."**Alistair tried to reply but Faye interrupted.

**"Don't!"** Faye stopped again and looked at him. "**Don't talk about my parents!**" She looked furious. It wasn't enough that he never shut up about anything but now he was going to talk about her parents, who recently died. **"You have no right talking about them."** she said in a calmer tone and cast a glance over at Morrigan's direction. She was still a bit behind and Faye hoped she couldn't hear them. **"Of course... I'm sorry... You're right."** Alistair said, looking ashamed. **"... I have no right."**

Faye nodded and turned her head towards her blonde companion again. **"It's okay."** she forced herself to say. "**... I'll talk about it when I feel ready. I just need to be alone for a while.**" Faye understood that she couldn't be alone until it was night and they had set up camp, but she hoped that Alistair would let her walk first, with both him and Morrigan behind her. And she hoped he would be quiet, at least for a few hours.

Soon enough it was dark, and they had to stop to set up camp. They stayed at a small creek that ran through the forest. Faye helped Morrigan with her tent and Morrigan helped Faye with hers. Faye still couldn't bring herself to talk with Alistair, not that she was still mad at him, but she was scared that he would start asking again. Or even worse, start feeling sorry for her.

When her tent was up, and she had fixed everything inside twice, she had no other choice than to join Alistair at his fire. Morrigan had told them early that she needed to be alone during the evening and Faye didn't dare to go against her will. So there wasn't really another choice than to sit next to Alistair, since Faye knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep just yet. And beside, maybe it was time to grow up and deal with the situation instead of avoiding it, considering that they would be travelling together for a while. Alistair sat next to the fire and played with the coals with a stick, beside him laid the mabari. When Alistair heard Faye getting closer he looked at her and smiled. **"I made stew!"** he said happily and sounded as if their little argument never happened. **"You want some?"**

Faye nodded and sat down next to him, she would never knew it from the look of him but the stew that was cooking in a pot over the fire actually smelled really nice. **"I would love some."** she said and waited while Alistair filled a bowl with stew. **"I smells really nice."** she took the bowl and smelled it once more. Alistair smiled. **"Really?"** he said and sounded proud. **"I've never actually made stew in my whole life but I thought I would try it, how hard can it be really?"** Faye nodded and took a sip. **"And I mean I found these rabbits in the forest and..."** Faye had to force herself not to spit the hot, gluey stew. It tasted horrible. **"... Did you like it?" **When she finally manage to compel the gulp down her throat she had to make a little face, but she tried not to show it for Alistair, in case he would be offended.

Faye looked at him and nodded to answer his question. She putted the bowl down on the ground and smiled. **"It was... Yeah.. It... It was nice."** she was trying to sound honest, but Alistair understood pretty easily that she was lying and broke out into a laugh. **"It taste disgusting right?"** he said and Faye felt relived that she wouldn't have to continued on with the lie, or finish the bowl on that matter. **"Yeah, it was pretty horrible."**she laughed.

**"I guess cooking is not my forte" **Alistair admitted, Faye agreed.** "But I just couldn't leave those rabbits. They looked really delicious, well... Maybe a few days past their date but I mean... I was going to save it with some carrots."** Faye burst out into another laugh and she punched him playfully on his upper arm. **"So you tried to feed me old rabbit? Do you want to kill the Archdemon by yourself?"** Faye laughed. Alistair smiled and nodded. **"I'm working for the darkspawns actually, I am one of their secret agents and my mission is to get rid of you before the blight, muhaha!"** He rubbed his fingers together and smiled a sinister smile, looking like a villain. **"But, shit, maybe I shouldn't have said that? I mean... I guess you wont be eating the rest of that stew now?"**

Faye laughed again and shook her head. **"I'm sorry, Mr. Secret Agent, but I think I'm going to pass on that."** she said, laughing felt great and she was glad that she decided to sit with him. She looked forward and drew a little breath, like she was gathering force to make herself talk about today. **"Look.. Earlier today..."**

**"I'm really sorry about that."** Alistair interrupted her, but Faye shook her head and looked at him. **"No, it's okay. You really did nothing wrong, I just... Want you to know that I'm okay and that you... Really don't need to worry."** Alistair looked at her for a while, he didn't believe her for a second. He had noticed how sad she looked when she thought now one was watching and he heard the nightmares she had during the night. **"It's just that if you want to talk... I'll be here for you."** he said while he poked at the coal with the stick again. **"I'll listen any time." **Alistairsaid**.** **"Thank you, Alistair."**She knew she wouldn't speak to him about it, never-ever.

They sat there for a while, just watching the fire and listening to the soft snores of the mabari who had fallen asleep a long time ago. At last Faye patted Alistair on the shoulder and stood up.** "I have to get some sleep... Talk to you tomorrow."**she said and walked away to her tent. She pushed away the cloth and went inside where she started removing her armour. It took a while, but eventually Faye could lay down on her bedding. And almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, she fell asleep.

_All of a sudden she was in her old bedroom in the Cousland estate. She was ten again, dressed in her fancy dress. Her hair was up in a up-do which made her look older than she was. She could hear her parents talking in the corridor outside her room. The door to the corridor seemed bigger then it should be, and when she tried to open it it wouldn't budge. Suddenly her parents started screaming and her heart was beginning to pound hard in her little chest. She pulled the door as hard as she could and her parents screams became louder and louder, and when she finally got the door open, everything became silent._

_Faye stared out the door, everything was as it should be. The corridor was empty and no signs of battle was to be shown. But when she stepped out she suddenly stood in the forest. The trees hung heavy over her head and in a distance she could hear her brother, Fergus, calling her. She started running in the direction, noticing that she now was around fifteen. Her hair was longer and she was dressed in a light armour. She ran for a long time, always ending up turning around when Fergus voice seemed to change direction, but when she finally came around a large oak she saw him._

_He was hanging from one of the trees. His eyes were closed and his body was limp, but his lips still moved and screamed for her. Faye let out a high shriek and tears rolled down her cheeks. She felt her body fall to the ground. She expected to hit the mud and leaves that covered the mark, but instead it seemed as if she was falling in slow motion, and when she finally felt her back hit against something she was in the pantry._

_She sat up and the first thing she saw was her fathers bloodstained face. He sat crouched opposite her and stared into her face. He looked like he was dead, his face was pale and his eyes was blank. But he was smiling. Behind her she could hear her mother scream "How could you leave us?" over and over again, and just as she was to stand up, her father reached over and grabbed her throat with his cold, lifeless hand._

**"Faye! Wake up!" **

Faye felt her body being shaken, and with a panic-stricken breath she opened her eyes and found Alistair hunched over her. Alistair looked concern and Faye started realizing that she had been screaming. **"Did you have a bad dream?" **Alistair asked and reached over to brush away a couple of tears on her cheeks. Faye nodded and reached up to pull her arms around his neck to convulsively hug him. She burst out in loud cry and Alistair wrapped his arms around her tiny waist. **"Sh, sh.. Its okay now, it was just a dream."**he whispered in her ear and caressed her back to comfort her.

Faye hid her face against his warm neck and tried to stop herself from weeping. She hated to cry, especially in front of someone only because she hated being seemed as weak. Alistair sat with her for almost an hour, just hugging her and letting her cry and when she finally felt calm again she pulled away and shifted over so he could lay down next to her. **"Stay with me."**Faye whispered and waited until he was on his side beside her, before she turned around and fell asleep with her back against him, and his arm around her waist.


End file.
